Unspoken
by hinoiri lwin
Summary: He didn't need anymore regrets.「Episode 12th spin-off」


**u **n** s **p** o **k** e **n | _episode 12__th__—kind of—spin off_ | warning: contains _shinaya_ fluffy/akward/angsty moments | I do not own kagerou project

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Shintarou cursed Takane from the bottom from his heart because for the love of flying pigs it's freaking hot here and he was burning. Literally.

The concrete beneath him feels so hot even through his red, thick soled pair of sneakers. His thick, _thick_ red jersey also didn't help to increase his chance to feel at least a little bit cool. Sunlight blared over his head and Shintaro started to plan the easiest route for his escapes without the possibility of being caught. Sounds of cicadas were really annoying and he can not concentrate because the heat basically burning his brain alive.

If not for Takane and her vicious tendencies to blackmail him every chances she's got, he wouldn't be here—walking under this inhuman heat.

It such a pity though, after all his beloved computer and air conditioner were waiting for him back home. And do not ever forget about lots of chilled cola's. Damn it, he really tempted to sprint back and hide forever in his room. But there's no way that he could continue to live in peace if that folders were open for public so he keep on trotted sluggishly to his destination—even though a dark frown made it's way on his face. Takane and her treats were not something to mess about; and he had already learned it the hard way.

"Man. This heat just unbelievable. Who's the hell sane enough to walk under this kind of weather?" he muttered quietly as he stomped on the seething asphalt. Sweats trailing down his face as the heat began to increase even more.

"And where the hell we supposed to meet?" he recalled that they were saying something remotely close to _inside_ and _a town park_ but he cannot see anything beside trees and another dozens of trees around. After a lot of sweats and curses he started to wander his eyes to his surroundings and tried his best to catch any familiar figures.

Luckily for him and his unfortunate soul—just a few meters ahead, he spotted a petite figure with a mop of chocolate brown hairs that he know so well. She was sitting on a polished white bench while humming some kind of ballads as she played with the hem of her white one-piece. Without noticing it, his lips formed a rare—very rare—soft smile as he gazed wistfully to the bubbly girl that had saved his patheic self numerous time. He walked towards her figure with a light steps.

_There's no doubt that it's her_, he thought.

"Sorry, I'm late. Hang on—it's just you here?" he asked even though he had already known the answer. He moved even closer while observing his long time—somewhat—friend closely. It was thoughtful of her to wear a white one-piece and left her red scarf behind for the time being. She will get a heatstroke if she still insisted on wearing that thick scarf of her. Not to mention a change once in a while is not really a bad idea. He had to admit that she looks totally cute wearing that simple white one-piece sundress.

Ayano smiled that smile of hers, "Ehehe, looks like it. But wait—It's just you too?"

"Hm, they said that Momo takes forever to get ready. They will catch up though—as fast as they can. Momo can be a pain in the ass as long as her face involved." he remarked sourly when the image of his sister popped out in his mind.

But the girl in front of him only giggled at his unpleased expression, "Well, Momo-chan is a girl after all..." she said as she smiled widely with hands laced behind her back.

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They were sitting side by side, even though the distance still took upon a lot of space between them. Head faced anything but each other as the summer heat ruthlessly roasted their sweaty skin. The gap between was too far and Shintaro blamed his lack of wits to start up a decent conversation.

That, and Ayano was being too quiet today for his liking.

_God please help him._

"—But really, it's really, _really_ hot in here." _nice_, he thought sarcastically. To think that he had an IQ of 168 was quite absurd. All he can managed was to embrass himself even futher by stating out the obvious. It was a relief that his companion only smiled understandingly at him.

"It is. That's the middle of summer for you. The heat will burn your skin raw." she said humorously as she played with the hem of her dress. A couple of minutes had passed but still no sign of the others. He began to sweating bullets because he was too nervous to crack up a simple conversation and the awkward chemistry between them was not helping.

_When was talking to her become such a difficulty for him?_, he sighed.

The ebony haired boy tilted his head upwards, the heat kissed his slightly pale skin. Leaves blocked his vison from the glaring sun though. They were really lucky to found such a nice place to take shelter under. "I'm dying here. I wish I was home." he muttered with a frown marred his flushing face when he remembered his sweet; _sweet_ room and his computer that he left back home.

"Sheesh, there you are! Saying such a nonsense again." she pouted and then glared playfully at her dying friend. "You need to go out from that room of yours more. It's not good for your health—you need more sunshine, Shintaro!" Ayano beamed at him.

He felt heat rising to his face, so he shifted his head before Ayano can saw his crimson dusted cheeks. _She's such a worry wart_, he thought fondly while unconsciously let a soft smile adorned his face.

"I don't think I need more sunshine in this kind of weather though." a slight smirk formed on his lips as he joked about the season famous temperature.

Ayano looks startled for a minute, but then she laughed. Her laughs chiming like bells and resonated through the bench they're sitting on.

"Ehehe, I think you right."

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* * *

Sadly, after what he can proudly calls as an improvement, the conversation between them ended straight away and the mood pretty much thrown out of the window. There was silence with sounds of cicadas chriping criss-crossing through the thousand of trees. It was maddening that they cannot controlled various emotions that dwelled inside their heart's. The two of them can feel the urges to at least say something but unable to. Both of them were struggling with their mind to just relax and enjoy this moment, because no one knows what will happen next. They should have known this more than anyone.

Shintaro was so tempted to smack his face hard if he had given the chance because after everything that happened between them; he couldn't even voiced a simple _I'm sorry_ to the girl that he had hurt numerous time back in the past. He wanted to tell her many things. So many things—but first he wanted to apologize. Ayano was the same. Even though she had already apologized back in the daze, for her it was not enough to erase the pain that her companion had felt for the past two years. She was selfish, she knew that very well. She wanted to save so many lives by sacrificing herself without thinking over the impact of her death to those she held close.

They kept shifting their eyes because it was hard to maintain their emotions in check if by any chance they locked eyes. It was frustrating to say, the words they want to convey were stuck at their throats. Both of them already on their limit. They tried to block an annoying voice that kept on screaming at them to stop being such a coward and _say something _but it was no avail. So with a little strength left, they reluctantly abandoned their fears—or in Shintaro case, his ego—and encourage their heart to convey all the feelings they have kept inside.

_This is it—no turning back_, they thought.

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"_Nee—"_

"_Na—"_

To think that both of them were planning on the same thing was shocking. They can't help but stared at each other for a moment before they finally came back to their sense.

"Ah. Sorry" Ayano touched her mouth, shocked—and watched him shyly from the corner of her eyes.

Shintarou cursed the bad timing and murmured, "No. My bad. It's just—" he halted.

"Huh? What is it?" now she's fully fixed her gaze at the man sitting beside her. Ayano had the feeling that whatever he wanted to say, it must be important.

"I—I want to—" he stammered, feeling nervous all over again. He tried to compose his beating heart, because he feel that he will regret it if he doesn't tell her the things he wanted to say all this years. He doesn't need anymore regrets.

"It's okay, Shintaro." like they were connected by invisible strings, Ayano can feel his uncertainty and fear that overshadowed him. Then she smiled—that smile he loved so much. She touched his hand and held it tightly against her smaller one. It was amazing just how much her smile and warm, _warm_ hand can affected him. But now his fears were gone and he softly smiled back at her.

He finally calmed down and flashed her a smile that she missed so much.

"I don't want to regret anything—" he began, "I want to tell you the things that I've kept so far. So I won't regret. I refused to regret ever again." Shintarou didn't know who moved first but now they were just inches apart with hands grazed softly against each other. He brushed her beautiful tresses of caramel hairs fondly from her face and smiled again.

"Thank you, for pulling me out from my solitude." he stared straight into the depth of her eyes, "Thank you, for not giving me up." he touched her face, "Thank you, for breaking my walls." and finally he closed his eyes and joined their forheads together, "But most of all—thank you, for being here with me today."

His voice brought up an unknown feelings upon hers and Ayano can felt the tears that prickled her eyes every time he touches her and whispered those words tenderly into her ears.

"Shintaro I'm—"

He touched her lips, and smiled again, "I'm not finished—" his grip over her hands tightened, "I'm sorry, for all the things I did that hurt you." he paused, and then gazed into her eyes—something close to self-loathing passed inside his mesmerizing _atrous_ colored orbs for a seconds, but then it was gone completely like it's never happened from the first place. "I'm sorry, for being a hopeless, distant jerk to you. I guess it can't be helped huh?" he chuckled forcefully before meeting her in the eyes.

"And I'm sorry, for slapping away your hand that evening. I regret every bit of it. Even now." the smile that he wore broke her heart because it's full of sadness and sorrow and grief in such an intensity that she felt like drowning in every deep sea of despair.

"You don't have to—"

His smile wilted a little, "But I did. I regret it every night. I asked myself over and over again—why I did such a thing to the person that so important to me. I'm such a idiot. And I wanted to tell you that I had never mean what I said—I'm just a cold hearted fool. What did you expect from me?" he said bitterly.

Shintaro recalled that time on their way back from school, the sun was setting over the dusk when they parted, or in his case—left, while she reached out a hand to his stiff back. He had never turned back. He never did. What kind of face did she made, he wonder?

The _ebony_ haired boy cursed his past self because god he was so stupid. Another memories flashed through his mind and the pain forced him to shut his eyes before opened them back.

"You know, there's still one thing that I regret the most—it haunts me everyday and I was forced to lament it over and over again until I was too tired to blame myself." he swallowed the lump inside his throat—voice a little hoarse, and then he began to falling apart.

"I'm sorry." he paused, "I'm sorry for being a cold hearted jerk and easily ignored your tears. I'm sorry for not being able to seen through that smile of yours when I had known from the start that it was faked. I'm sorry for not being there when you need me the most and—"

"—I really am sorry for not noticing anything." he cried out with such a broken voice that made her heart tight and her eyes burned heatedly. Ayano was torn—she had ever known this Shintaro—this Shintaro who was hurting so badly. _All because of her_. Her heart squeezed painfully as tears blurred her vision.

"Shintaro—no, _no_ it's not like that. I had known from the beginning. You don't have to apologize, I'd know you more than anyone remember?" Ayano clung to his side desperately while she looks deeper into his dark eyes, "That's why—please, _please_ stop crying."

_Huh?_

_He was.. crying?_

He didn't realized it at first, but droplets of tears steadily pouring out from his eyes. It's hot against his skin and left a wet trail on his disheveled face. Ayano too, he noticed, had tears marring her flushed cheeks. He hated it when she cry—her cries made him feel like shit. Shintaro wiped her tears away with the back of his hand and chuckled a little, "Why the hell are you crying too?"

Ayano cried even louder when she heard his laughs. She pressed her head into his chest in a pitiful effort to hide her tears, "Of course I am! Stupid Shintaro.."

"Okay fine. It's my fault. There, stop crying please—I hate it when you cry." he held her even closer and started to caress her hair lovingly.

"Hmm… I'd try." she mumbled through the fabric of his clothes and hugged him even tighter, "I'm also sorry you know—for letting you go through such a pain. I'm so stupid after all, I failed as a friend, nee?" she chocked a sobs.

"What the—I told you to stop crying didn't I? Sheesh, I can't believe you…" he wiped her tears again and pressed his forehead to hers.

"But—I really am sorry, it was selfish of me to disappear just like that without saying a proper goodbye. It's so cruel of me to hurt you that you—that you choose to.." her tears just wont stop, no matter how hard she tried it keep on falling and falling down just like waterfall.

Shintarou slightly knocked their forehead together, "Stop it. You know that I had never blamed you. What you did was selfless—not selfish. And I understood now. Everything's already over, and what's important for me is that you're here. Alive. Nothing else matters to me beside the fact that I can touch you again. Feel you again." he smiled, "You don't have any idea about how happy I am right now to have you by my side again." the touch of his fingertips upon her skin burned her with an intense needs to never let go.

"It's always going to be you—the one who I need the most."

Shintaro fixated his gaze over her widening ones—and for a fraction of seconds she saw the happiness that gradually became so tangible when she stared deep into his eyes. She smiled again this time—that smile of hers—and crossed her fingers over his, "Hmm.. thank you Shintaro. For everything."

_She smiled_, he thought. And it was beautiful. It feels like the horribly grey painted hue of world brightens on the moments he saw her smile. Seeing her tender smile—the one he know only reserved for him—warmed his body, but the happiness was short lived because the tears just won't stop ruining her face no matter how much he tried to wipe it.

"Stop crying, please." he pleaded and begged, but the crystal clear drops of tears never seems to stop entirety.

Ayano laughed hoarsely, "I can't. They just wont stop."

The pitter-patter sounds of her tears hitting cold, asphalt colored concrete beneath her echoed over and over again, like it was going to last for eternity. He hated to brought up forgotten past twice, but he hated it even more when she was crying because of him. He needed to fix her, fast. And what can he do beside to hold her close and whispered words against her ears?

_What can he do to ensure her happiness?_

And like it was magic, something clicked inside his head. Shintaro embraced the crying woman closer and curl his fingers around her slender waist in an attempt to held her in place. He brought her face to even his, and the touch of his fingertips that's lingering on the skin of her cheeks made her face to turn bright red.

"I can help you." he suggested while caressing her face softly, did not aware of the heat he left her in.

His touch was so tender, she thought, and her heart started to beat really fast against her rib cage that she was afraid that it would exploded. The smell of musk and mint allured her into a feverish kind of trance as she brought her eyes to even his, "How so, Shintaro?"

He smiled knowingly and flicked his index finger against her forehead, "Just close your eyes."

And she did as she was told.

Shintaro smiled before closing his eyes and leaned forward with a patience he did not know he possessed. He's not an expert at this, but neither did she. The hammering of his heart pounded roughly against his chest with a damped thumping sound. He felt numb—it was not like when he touched the cold, but it was more like he wasn't even breathing—because he had chosen to admire the way her perfect plum colored lips twisted into a magnificent smile instead to gasping for air. The desire inside him grew, it was the first time for both of them after all—but when their lips touched he forgot to breath and pulled her in even deeper. He suddenly forget all the pain he had endured in the past. Her soft, warm lips, enchanted him so much that he can't help himself from exploring her warm cavern with eager tongue. She _tasted like chocolate and a little bit of fresh snow_, he thought.

He can feel that the _castory_ haired girl in front of him was startled for a seconds, but then when she fully grasped the heat hidden inside, she returned the kiss with all her might. He kissed her again and again, each kiss more intense than the last. He wrapped his arms around her slender built and felt the warmth radiated from her skin.

Their kiss lasted for a full minute and then it was hard to breath—the heat beneath their flushed skin grew even more and they parted from each other though unwillingly. Shintaro leaned his forehead against hers and she can feel his warm breath breeze across her face with a gentle caress. No one was talking, they just gazed into each other and found themselves lost in the depth of their partner eyes. Shintarou gaze was intense, and she can feel her heart beating furiously inside her chest. _I wonder if he can feel it too_, she thought while smiling.

"I did it." he suddenly said from nowhere and then grinned softly at her. "I stopped your tears."

Ayano just smiled that smile of hers, "You did it! You are really amazing after all Shintaro."

They broke into a small fits of laughter and crossed their fingers tenderly. Their face were painted in crimson with happiness vividly reflected in each other eyes when their gaze met. And for the first time in a long time, they felt genuinely happy.

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"_Nee, Shintaro."_

"_What is it?"_

"_Thank you. I love you."_

_His smile was soft and she feel warm inside._

"_I love you too."_

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Author's note:

[Edited at 13th January 2015] I have no excuses but I loved ShinAya so much and I can't stand episode 12th because the lack of chemistry between them. Thank you for reading minna-san, I'm sorry for the bad grammar and typo(s).

[Etoo, the reason why I had edited this story, well, two if you counted "Hidden Answer" as well because there were so many typos around and I kinda sucked when writing romance. So one of my reviewers, Lunaria-san asked me for a sequel but I guess I cannot complete it yet and choose to edited the two of her favorite ficlet because I felt that the Shinaya scenes totally not... interesting. At all. So Lunaria-san, I hope this one can conquer your thirst for a little while. Thank you very much for the support. Mata nee~]


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